Friday, 17 March 2017

Catch conflict before it negates your value, values, and feeling valued

My client, whom we will call Mark, and one of his most relied on employees, whom we will call Stephanie, are barely speaking to one another.

This is a sad scenario I see often, one where initial conflict, difficulty or disagreement was small and yet because it wasn't addressed it has now grown into a major barrier to high performance. Of course there's a domino affect too, other people are now involved and unhappy too!

Catch conflict before it negates your value, values, and feeling valued, and, if left unaddressed, your relationship

Step one is to see conflict, or difficultly, or disagreement as a positive sign everything in a relationship is not as it can be. Addressing friction is a grand opportunity to reestablish shared-view or common-ground.

In most of my presentations and master-classes I explore shared-view. You can find out more about shared-view and the seven areas of significance where you must have it in order to sustain a high performance culture here.


Mark and Stephanie had both lost sight of ours and were trapped in yours and mine.

Step two in addressing conflict, difficulty, or disagreement is to use feeling language.

"I feel Stephanie's work is a great gift and so do you." I said looking Mark straight in the eye.

He nodded sheepishly.

"I feel we should explore how your work is being delivered Stephanie." I said looking her straight in the eye.

She nodded sheepishly.

As an outsider not emotionally involved, yet aware enough to pinpoint the actual problem, I was able to facilitate a candid and convivial conversation between Mark and Stephanie that led to restoration of shared-view and their relationship.

Who will you become? What will you do next?

Be remarkable.
Ian
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