Monday, 8 May 2017

4 essentials for building and sustaining high value and mutually rewarding relationships

Here's the four: be a hero in your own home, understand that relationship change follows personal change, not getting sucked into the life/work balance BS, and accepting that social media is not required to sustain great personal and business relationships.

1) Be a hero in your own home first

Please read this post and/or watch this 11 minutes and 21 seconds video here and then take action in your own best way.

2) Relationship change follows personal change 

There are two keys to relationships of high value and mutual reward; serving and shared-view or common-ground. Who are you serving?  What value are you delivering? Does your role clarity statement include the purpose of your role which would answer these questions?

In a organisational sense your customer is whoever gets your work next.  Are they receiving the value from you that they demand, desire, and feel that they deserve?

In a personal sense we serve others in all kinds of ways.  A key question to ask: Is what I am giving to others exactly what they want?


There are three worlds.  The world in here, that’s my world.  The world out there, that’s your world. The world that really matters though is the world we share (ours).

In all our relationships we need a shared-view about:
where we are,
where we’re going,
why we’re going there,
how we will get there,
who will do what and when,
how we’ll know we’re on track, a
and how we’ll behave along the way.

Want to change or modify a relationship in your life?

Change or modify how you make contact with the other person first, how you connect second, how you discover common-ground (shared-view) third.  Then align how you demonstrate commitment to one another.  The relationship modification or change you want and the continuity of the relationship will take care of themselves.

All change is personal first

We have a hunger for human connection from the moment we are born.  For several years most of us do what we think other people want us to.  We behave to please.  The key to being valued by people who really matter in our lives is to be ourselves, that one-of-a-kind each of us is.

Andy Warhol said: "They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them for yourself"

My pathway for personal change is compete with yourself.

Want to change or modify something in your personal life? Change or modify intention first, feelings second, thinking third, and then align behaviour and the outcome you want will take care of itself.



I created a mini online experience about the above and more that will yield you maximum results when you take action in your own best way. You’ll find it here. 

3) Work/Life Balance is BS. 

My alternative is here.

4) Social media is not required to sustain great personal and business relationships

I invest very little time and attention in social media. About 10 minutes per day is it for me. My reasoning is simple - I find most of it anti-social.

My work is all about personal connection with people by phone, Skype/Zoom, and in person. I am using technology, yet what really matters is humanity. For me high value and mutually rewarding relationships with a few people is far superior to trying to maintain some kind of a connection with the masses.

My strategy and execution is well supported by research by Robin Dunbar and others. The research suggests: face to face is superior to everything else.

Check out Mr. Dunbar’s humourous TED Talk about this and other insights here.

I have long used Dunbar’s number (150) as a key to my business success and particularly the relationships that lead to that success. I have also helped many of my clients to understand that trying to maintain relationships with more than 150 people is a fools errand.

Dunbar speaks about an inner circle of 5 people in his talk. That’s how it is for me. I have about 15 people in a second circle. I can thank these 20 wonderful folk for having a hand in obtaining the vast majority of my clients.

Bottom line
You don’t need social media to build and grow a successful business!

The key about social media is that it’s social and it's media!

Is it valuable? Yes. I am not saying it isn’t.

The real work though is to use technology to add value to human relationships.

A key is having those relationships in the first place. Millions of people are missing this.

Don’t be one of them.

Be remarkable.
Ian


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