Great to be in conversation about conversations with Allan Parker once more.
Underneath the video on YouTube are links to parts one, two, three, four, five, six and seven.
In this video we take a deep dive into two more two pillars of wise conversations, compelling and civil.
Become the wise leader you want to be.
Ian
I'm very grateful to the 'Conversation About Conversations' series I'm currently recording with Allan Parker.
With Allan's exquisite insights the original five pillars expanded to nine. Other members of Wise Leaders Peer Group also contributed including adding Check-ins.
Letting each other know where we are at personally and what we are working on is a ritual that sets the tone for our conversations and often leads to the topic for discussion.
I think the first words that came out of my mouth where candid. They caused a bit of a stir apparently!
I've never been backward coming forward. I think life's too short for BS.
Not everyone appreciates candour however and therefore being candid can be tricky. I've worked very hard to make sure that my candour means I'm also kind.
3. Convivial
Being convivial as well as candid has taken my communication and conversations to a whole new level.
Some synonyms for convivial: friendly, genial, affable, amiable, congenial, agreeable, good-humoured, cordial, warm, sociable, outgoing, gregarious. We're all capable of these character traits when we're being the best version of ourselves.
There's a lot of truth for me in the following attributed to Fred Kofman, a leader in the conscious business movement:
"Wisdom without compassion is ruthlessness, and compassion without wisdom is folly."
One of the Apostles of the Christian Church is reported to have said, “Faith without works is dead.”
A lot of faiths are dead, dying, or in trouble today because the actions of a few of the faithful betray their stated beliefs. I meet a lot of people more interested in being right than being compassionate for example.
Compassion for me is at the truthful heart of all the world’s religions. Compassion is not a belief, it's a behaviour.
Conscious leadership, conscious business, conscious capitalism are just three current trends. I recommend a google search on consciousness. In my world all conversations are embracing consciousness and particularly focusing on who we are, why we're here, and why understanding our interconnectedness with all living things, including our planet and the universe, is crucial to being the best we can be.
I put together a short paper about compelling conversations with my friend and colleague Gary Edwards.
We say in the paper that every conversation has two aspects: the Task (should we do this thing?) and the Relationship (are you someone that I can trust?). Download the paper here.
Civility for me is more than politeness and good manners. Civility is also about treating people how they expect to be treated (the platinum rule) and never being aggressive or violent.
Having a warm and open heart and a clear mind means being able to be calm regardless of the situation. Being calm includes being patient. A high level of Response Ability is essential to being calm.
Caring begins with self-care. Caring for others is to support them in being fully alive human beings.
All the great conversations are like meeting up with old friends, we pick up where we left off. There is no ending, just progress.
Become the wise leader you want to be.
Ian
PS To join in wise leaders conversation check out:
A joy once more to be in conversation about conversations with Allan Parker.
Underneath the video on YouTube are links to parts one, two, three, four, five, and six. You'll find the six videos in one place here.
In this video we take a deep dive into two more two pillars of wise conversations, being compassionate and conscious.
Be and Become the wise leader you want to be.
Ian
A joy once more to be in conversation about conversations with Allan Parker.
Underneath the video on YouTube are links to parts one, two, three, four, and five.
In this video we take a deep dive into the first two pillars of wise conversations, being candid and convivial.
Become the wise leader you want to be.
Ian
I'm thrilled to announce the publication of my first video playbook.
When I've got a knotty problem/challenge my mate Glenn Capelli is a great source to lean on and have a conversation with. He is one of the great thinkers I know.
Glenn and I Zoomed recently for a conversation about Systems Thinking. There'll be more conversations I'm sure!
In this recording Allan and myself explore his work with Matina Jewell about calming conversations.
In this part four we add calm to the pillars of wise, curious, sparkenation conversations.We also add continuous.
I've upgraded this complimentary online course for you. Here's the course.
The four minutes and three seconds video below introduces the five micro areas I've added to the seven macro areas.
Most of our troubles, personal, local, organisational, national, and international, are fundamentally based in our perceived need to hang onto the world in here (my view), our issues with the world out there (other people's views), and, our failure to focus more on the world we share (ours).
The exciting news is that when we find and sustain shared-view (ours) we can triumph over all our troubles.
Become the wise leader you want to be.
Ian
