My friend Nigel Risner provides us with a big clue when he says IF YOU'RE IN THE ROOM, BE IN THE ROOM.
Yet situations can throw us off course from this wonderful advice and take us away from our internal core appreciation of ourselves which enables us to be in the room in the first place.
Below is part of a conversation I had recently with a client who had temporarily lost her bearings regarding her core appreciation of herself, after a heated discussion with her boss.
I asked her “Outside of the workplace where do you feel most appreciated?”
Straight away she replied “My eldest son is brilliant at showing appreciation to me, and often it’s just little things that surprise and delight me.”
“What little things could you do to surprise and delight your boss? I asked.
What followed was a candid and convivial conversation that revealed my client had rarely, if ever, shown appreciation to her boss. I explained to my client that often we don’t receive what we most need ourselves unless we’re giving it to others without attachment to getting back. I also said “It’s OK to ask for help!”
In most workplaces there’s a lack of appreciation going on despite a known fact best described by the eminent psychologist William James who said:
The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.
One action you can take right now that enacts this deepest principle
Reflect on the people closest to you at home, at work, and the other places you go.
Write down these people’s names and one way you could show genuine appreciation to them in the next fortnight without any cost except that of your time and energy.
Go show appreciation without attachment to getting back.
Make this ritual part of your everyday life. And if you need any simple, practical help with this, do give me a shout.
PS The above is the first in a seven part series of suggestions in my Monday Morning Momentum offerings for both working on yourself (as above) and working on your business. You'll find the video and the working on your business suggestion here.