Wednesday 2 November 2011

Nobody wins the blame and shame game

This is the first of my newsletters this month.

One of my heroes is Alan Weiss. Alan says “I’ve always believed that language controls discussion, discussion controls relationships, and relationships control business. You might want to substitute “influence” for control, but you get my drift.”

Last weekend the CEO of Qantas, a once iconic Australian company, grounded his entire fleet of planes in order to bring to a head an unresolved dispute his company has with three unions. His decision affected the travel of about 100,000 people and who knows the long term adverse affects.

The language of this CEO, his opponents, and the hapless politicians on both sides of the divide, clearly do not understand collaboration. They are now blaming and shaming one another in public, something that is happening in many situations all over the world right now.

In my changing what’s normal book (Sparkenation 5. One solution to the world’s pre-eminent problem) I wrote the following:


Fundamentalists are killing us, literally. In my view fundamentalists are people who believe their way is the only way. Today these folk of religious, political, business, and other persuasions are ruining our world. None of us has a mortgage on truth. And none of us has a right to use violence against anybody for any reason, let alone because we believe something different or are following a different path.

Changing What’s Normal

In the new world being co-created we will honour everyone's path to meaning, whatever it is, and we will be tolerant of another person's way and co-exist regardless of our differences, indeed we will celebrate our differences.

We live in three worlds: the world in here, the world out there, and the world we share. In here, our views are just that, out there are other people’s views. In the world we share are the views we agree on. In any successful relationship the world we share is the critical one.

Human conflict is fundamentally the result of failure to agree on the goal or failure to agree on the strategies to achieve the goal. I guarantee that today all of our troubles, personal, local, organisational, national, and international, are fundamentally based in our perceived need to hang onto the world in here, our issues with the world out there, and, our failure to focus more on the world we share.

What makes life really worthwhile is when we can share our views (without ridiculing one another or being violent with one another) and come together with a shared view, which may mean we have to let go of things we previously held dear.

I trust that today and every day you will resolve to build more of the world we share and be less precious about the world in here or the world out there.

What could you do today, this week, this month to be a more of a builder of a world that is based on shared view?

What modifications or changes would you need to make in your life to make this happen?

Please get started today on making the changes you have decided to make. We must move on from a world of shame and blame because nobody wins such a game.

"What is needed is a realization that power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love."
Martin Luther Ling Jr.

Be the difference you want to see in the world
Author of Changing What's Normal
I partner with people passionate about change who want to break free from the status quo and accelerate turning possibility into reality

Sparkenation: a spark that ignites passion that leads to action that changes what's normal

More sparkenations are here.

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