Listen directly to the podcast version of this post here.
My guess is you answered yes.
Carol makes a very compelling case that most feedback we receive from other people is toxic.
One of her premises for changing this is self-governance and helping people to do this well.
There’s many ways to increasing accountability. Helping your employees to be more self-governed is one way.
I’ve been helping my clients with this for 25 years. It’s a process I call it compete with yourself.
In a nutshell
We start comparing ourselves to others very early in our lives. Doing so is a journey to dissatisfaction, unhappiness and mediocrity.
We are all unique. We are not comparable to anybody else.
Not a single duplicate in the 100 billion lives that have walked planet earth.
The quest is to become the best version of our one-of-a-kind selves. This means we must continually compete with ourselves.
You are accountable for your intentions, feelings, thoughts, actions/behaviours, never anyone else’s.
1) Create a profile of what the best version of you looks like on one page.
First create a picture of what remarkable looks like for you.
Remarkable people don’t bully others.
Remarkable people don’t show their lack of intelligence by being violent towards others.
Remarkable people respect views and opinions that are different to theirs.
Remarkable people are passionate and persuasive yet never arrogant enough to think and act as if their way is the only way.
Remarkable people have ditched dogma and instead lead by example.
Remarkable people are not attached to their ideology, belief system, or political party bias, instead they debate ideas and then collaborate to achieve what really is good for humanity.
Remarkable people have roles not jobs. They understand that jobs are part of roles and that all roles are about relationships and delivering value to others as perceived by them.
Remarkable people are candid and authentic. They say what they mean and mean what they say.
Remarkable people promise big and deliver.
Remarkable people do their deep personal work and show it through their acute self-awareness, and therefore their willingness and ability to be highly aware of others.
When remarkable people are in the room, they’re in the room (thank you Nigel Risner).
Remarkable people share powerful stories, the kind that others can see and feel themselves in.
Remarkable people co-create cultures of candour where elephants in the room are named, and closets are absent of skeletons.
Remarkable people tell the truth as they see it, yet never in ways that are a put down of others.
Remarkable people ... Please insert your thoughts.
Now create your one page. Start with putting your name on the top, today’s date and the heading I am remarkable when
To help you to live your one page choose a theme song for competing with yourself and play it regularly to help you to get into the state right for you.
2) Write down what you stand for
Below are two examples to help you, my own and my client Jamie Wilson.
What I stand for - Ian Berry
The change I’m seeking to make with you are shifts in being, feeling, thinking and doing that mean the maximum number of people in your workplace feel valued, live values and are delivering value.
Homes, workplaces and third places where it’s standard practice for people to feel heard, understood and appreciated. Therefore I stand for:
1) People being willing and able to have the candid, convivial and compassionate conversations essential for other people to feel valued, live values and deliver value.
2) Every person having continuous opportunities to be the best version of themselves and to do work that is meaningful for them and highly valuable for others.
3) Sparkenators inspiring, reminding and persuading others to be and do as above.
What I stand for - Jamie Wilson
I stand for OUR People, OUR Team. Our people should not be managed, they should be lead, guided and encouraged to prosper, achieve and be their best.
Business objectives are achieved as a consequence of individuals achieving their objectives
We need to manage processes, procedures, policies, practices and systems to ensure our people can deliver their and our objectives
I stand for OUR culture. A culture that everyone invests into and leads from example and owns their unique piece of it
I stand for communication improvements across all areas of the business. We are the BEST at what we do, lets not let this bring us down
I STAND FOR EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM. TOGETHER EVERYONE ACHIEVES MORE
Now go create your own. Clue: What you stand for is the change you want to see/make happen.
3) Develop and stick to a one page for your rituals or standards
You can download my one page via the companion resources web page to my Remarkable Workplaces book (See link just under Compete With Yourself).
Use it as a guide to create your own.
Recommended Deep work
There are 3 areas I recommend you focus your deep work on.
1) Regularly transform yourself by undertaking the compete with yourself exercise which you will find at the companion resources web page (see link above) (it’s in the short and succinct Reasons, Relationships, and Routines Guarantee Results Course).
2) Discover, unleash and enhance your own and other people’s gifts. I believe this is the number one role of leadership.
3) Get better everyday at engaging in candid, convivial and compassionate conversations with fellow humans.
Should you not yet be familiar with the Enhancing Your (Their) Gifts concept you’ll find links at the this web page.
You will also find at the link above content to consider about conversations. It is key from a self-governance perspective and therefore competing with yourself that you master all conversations in the essential conversations matrix you'll see at the link.
Do Your Work.