There are five basic levels of communication - cliche, opinion, fact, feeling, and optimum.
A lot of our communication is cliche, small talk. It matters, yet not much.
At the opinion level we share what we think. This matters too, yet not much.
Communicating what we think are facts makes life interesting. Men often communicate at this level.
When we have a shared-view about facts we have opened the door of collaboration.
Communicating at a feeling level really counts. Women often excel at this level. Some men are getting better. When we can reach a shared-view on how we feel about situations and circumstances we have opened the door to great relationships. Improved performance follows.
To say I feel ... in an open and candid way is powerful.
Even more so when we express a feeling about another person's behaviour and they don't take it personally, rather they are able to respond "Thank you so much for sharing that," and mean what they are saying. Such conversation are a sign of great relationships where problems are not confused with people or personalities.
The ultimate level of great communication is optimum.
How do I know in a room of 100 people that my wife is reading to go home? Answer: It's just a look.
Optimum communication requires optimum relationships where we have gotten to know people at a deep level and because of our emotional connection are able to communicate with just a look.
If you want to really improve performance in your like and work:
Express your feelings more.
Be gracious when others express their feelings. Often a simple "Thank You for sharing that" and meaning it, works wonders.
Build relationships of such great emotional connection that words are important yet looks really matter.
Be the difference you want to see in the world.